Case Study: 50 things (at least!) not to do in your direct mail appeal
This is one of those blog posts where Jen says "You're not really going to post this? ". And I nod.
Now, my goal is to be helpful. Take a look at your own direct mail pack and see how it compares. Do you see some similarities? If you aren't sure about something you are considering or have designed - comment and ask! Email me! Tweet me! I would be more than happy to make sure you don't make ANY of these mistakes.
ALSO - I should add - I have no idea how this package performed. It may be the best performing acquisition package of all time but certainly I believe here are a number of ways to make it more relevant and meaningful to a donor.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:
50 things (at least!!!) NOT TO DO in your direct mail appeal.
White #10 outer envelope - almost anything BUT a white #10 will perform better.
2. The tagline is horrible. It doesn't ask a question, doesn't intrigue. It's a statement.
3. "Personal"? Why is this word here?
4. 3 colours? From a production perspective, it would be cheaper to do 2 colours - or 1 colour even!
5. No return address.
6. It's a 8.5" x 14" letter/reply which I know is cheaper to produce but a full size 8.5 x 11 letter and 8.5 x 11 coupon is ideal and often/always perform much better.
7. It's printed 4 colour which gives the appearance to donors of being more expensive. (I'm guess it was printed digitally.)
8. The type is tiny on the letter. At least make the type 12 point. 14 point is better.
9. Too many mixed cases in fonts, upper case and lower case.
10. Just say no to rock star signatures.
11. A blue signature would at least make it look like someone signed it for real.
12. The design/ placement of elements is all over the place.
13. There is no personal story.
14. 15,000 people, 300,000 people… a donor can help one… give us one!
15. "It receives no government funding"? "It"? What is "it"? How about "we"?
16. Epilepsy Canada is the only national…. really? They are the ONLY one?
17. No indents. This should look like personal communication, not a business form letter.
18. Directing potential donors online to read stories? You have their eyeballs now! Tell them one!
19. 8 "you"s… ug. The BEST fundraising is always about your donor. Not your organization.
20. Don't direct people away from the appeal but asking them to give online.
21. What and how much are you asking for? Why?
22. What are you inspiring the donor to do/change? (aside from crumple this up and throw it out as quickly as possible)
23. All of the changes in formatting (bolding and underlining) makes no sense.
24.My donation is an direct investment? What?
25. The PS is totally wasted. It's a chance to reiterate your ask.
26. BTW - what wrote this letter? definitely not a human.
27. Mixing of fonts and cases and colours, oh my.
28. Overall, there is no key message, ask or story. It's a kitchen sink approach.
29. Coupon: so small considering all of the information that is on it.
30. "I won't be quiet. You can count on my support" - not Affirmative, whose voice is this?
31.Single and monthly jammed on the same side.
32. Ask for one thing - single gift only OR monthly gift only increases your response rate.
33. The type is tiny on the coupon.
34. The spacing between lines for donor information is SO small - can you imagine being 85 years young and filling this out?
35. No donor name and address is lasered on the coupon?
36. Single donation: Yes! I want to continue the battle… this is a prospect piece (I HOPE!!!!) I will be joining the battle… not continuing it.
37. Driving someone to pay online is risking that the donor will put the piece down to give maybe online later, which likely means they wont give at all.
38. Stay connected: why should your prospective donor want your newsletter? I'm assuming this is a printed newsletter and not an e-newsletter.
39. Monthly withdrawal - language is so transactional.
40. Yes! I will invest in epilepsy… A donor doesn't invest in any thing! They make change! They fix something!
41. No reason or explanation or inspiration to give either a one time gift or a monthly gift.
42. Back of letter: Photo - oh look a human! Eye contact would be way better.
43. Tell me more about Tyler! I sense an important story there that as a prospective donor there, I want to hear, find out how I can help him.
44. This information is completely lost on the back of the letter - make it a separate piece, let Tyler tell his story (or Rylie!)
45. I don't need to see the movie poster for "I heart shakey." (BTW - what a horrible movie name featuring a child actor who has epilepsy!) Show me a bigger picture of Rylie.
46. Tell me more about Rylie! There sounds like there is hope there!
47. Back of letter feels like a dumping ground of information.
48. Back of coupon - why is this here? Why am I constantly being told to go online to give or do anything? Also - BTW you left your low resolution "istockphoto" in the layout.
49. The image of the website doesn't really look like your current website…
50. BRE: Testing shows asking someone to put a stamp on the BRE actually lowers your response rate.
BONUS: Canada post can reject this envelope at processing - line of type needs to stay in a defined box on the left side.
Listen, we take direct mail very seriously.
We take donors time, attention and emotions very seriously.
If we aren't helping charities tell the inspiring stories that happen around us every day, the stories that remind us why we work so hard, the stories that reminded us why we fell in love with that mission and instantly knew we HAD to do something to take it further, to make it better... Then we have failed.
Inspire your donors to care and give and love them when they do.