Skip to content
Agents of Good
Agents of Good
We Are Agents of Good and So Are You!
  • Home
  • Agents of Good
  • Blog
    • Top 10 Blog Posts
    • Star Wars Series
  • Speaking
  • Work
  • Clients
  • Testimonials
  • Connect
  • Home
  • Agents of Good
  • Blog
    • Top 10 Blog Posts
    • Star Wars Series
  • Speaking
  • Work
  • Clients
  • Testimonials
  • Connect

I just got a call…

I just got a call.

And here you are reading my blog about it.

You’re going to hear my venting. But if you can hang on through the rage, you’ll also hopefully think about how you talk to your donors/communities of supporters.

Phone rings.

Me: “hello?”

Pause. Clicking. Some kind of murmuring.

Me: “hello!?”

Murmur louder. Then YELLING: “MRS. LOVE?!?!?!?!”

Me: “Hi. You’re loud. But I can hear you now.”

Caller: “Sorry. The machine doesn’t always tell us when we have someone on the line.”

Me: “Uh. OK.”

Caller: “Anyway Mrs. Love, I’m calling to thank you for being a loyal customer and ask you if you have any questions about our service.”

Pause.

Should I? Should I tell this woman how “the machine” makes me feel unimportant, and that if she wants Mrs. Love she should call my mother, or my paternal grandmother (who just died). I’m Ms. Love and proud of it. The only thing that’s worse is when people call and ask for Mrs. (my husband’s name). Should I tell her that her manner is unpleasant, and that I can hear hundreds of other people just like her yammering in the background. I decide not to.

Me: “I don’t really have any questions.”

Caller: “Well, I also should let you know that we have great promotions to sign up for other services with us.”

Me: “Like what?”

Caller: “Like internet, cable TV, digital cable, home phone and wireless.”

Me: “Uh. I already have all those things with you.”

Pause.

Caller: “Oh, well then you aren’t eligible for anything. Thank you for being a loyal customer.”

Hangs up.

Seriously?

I have ALL your services. I thought that’s why I got the loyal customer call.

But no. I got the loyal customer call because one person, from one division of this massive company, had the bright idea to call all the customers and ask them to sign up for other services from the same mega company.

What they didn’t spend 30 seconds doing was to segment this list. Figure out who has one service and offer them a second. Figure out who has two services and offer them a third.

And, in the worst case, you call someone who is a loyal customer, give them bad service and then have nothing to offer.

#FAIL.

And you know what hurts most? It’s my birthday. And they know that. Because when I do call them I have to give my birthday (including year…those assholes) so they can “confirm me”.

Here’s how, if the Agents of Good ran the world, the call would go.

Phone rings.

Me: “Hello”.

Caller: “Hey, Jen! I’m calling from ABC Company and I’m just calling to say thank you. You are a loyal customer of ours, and we are reaching out to say thanks. Do you have any questions about your service, anything I can help with at all? No? Well, that’s awesome. Oh, hey. I see it’s your birthday! WOOT! Happy Birthday. Have an awesome day.”

Category: Branding, Fun, Jen Love, OpinionBy Jen LoveFebruary 17, 20113 Comments

Author: Jen Love

Agent Jen is a storyteller, and not in a poetic sense. In a fumbling, arm-waving, half-sentence-speaking, let's-get-to-the-heart-and-the-feelings sense. Write drunk, edit sober...even if you're only drunk on emotions.

Post navigation

PreviousPrevious post:Deadheads and PreachersNextNext post:Small and Mighty!

Related posts

10 F*cking Years!
November 25, 2019
TOP 10 list of design mistakes I see in direct response over and over again
September 9, 2019
It’s only a check box!
August 2, 2019
A #donorlove newsletter makeover
June 19, 2019
founding values image
Money Follows Value
April 8, 2019
Interviews & Conversations
February 14, 2019

3 Comments

  1. Paul de Gregorio says:
    February 18, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    great post! And hope you had a great birthday!!

     Reply
    • Jen says:
      February 19, 2011 at 9:07 am

      Thanks Paul! My birthday got lots better as the day went on…

       Reply
  2. Kim says:
    August 22, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    This is a great post! I feel compelled to share about a company that does get it right… CompuSolve.

    They are my local ISP and I switched to them from Bell. Best choice I made!! (your post could have been written about Bell haha).

    CompuSolve calls about twice a year to thank me for my being a valued customer and to let me know if I ever have any problems or concerns they are available to help. They never try to upsell services either. It’s a small thing but it makes me feel like a valued (5+yr)customer 🙂

     Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

clear formPost comment



Looking for a specific topic or post? Just search!
Other random posts
  • golb sdrawkcab!
    May 18, 2010
  • What did you fail at today?
    January 6, 2010
  • Does Design Matter: the debate rages on….
    December 9, 2009
  • The #donorlove Celebration
    October 14, 2018
Topic
  • #donorlove (16)
  • Awareness (24)
  • Bequests (11)
  • Branding (45)
  • Case Study (54)
  • David Love (12)
  • Direct Mail (109)
  • Fun (70)
  • Graphic Design (52)
  • Jen Love (84)
  • John Lepp (142)
  • Mark Haak (7)
  • Opinion (116)
  • Secret Agent report (10)
  • Social Media (42)
  • Star Wars Fundraising (4)
  • Top 10 (9)
  • Uncategorized (4)
  • Writing (86)
Latest Tweets
  • Tweet Avatar
    @agentsofgood
    @@agentsofgood
    RT @TheRedwoodTO: Today marks the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women 🚫 and the start of… https://t.co/QOrasbBFJo

    1 week ago
  • Tweet Avatar
    @agentsofgood
    @@agentsofgood
    RT @afpnb: #NationalPhilanthropyDay 2019 in #NB (15-Nov-19): PD sessions w/industry experts @johnlepp & @EmmaLewzey followed b… https://t.co/D6jrurZHtq

    2 months ago
  • Tweet Avatar
    @agentsofgood
    @@agentsofgood
    RT @UinvitedU: Been dying to spend more time with troublemakers, risk takers and more capital raisers in 2020. Missed it last ye… https://t.co/Jq9axwhnLF

    2 months ago
Testimonials
  • I have had the pleasure working with the Agents for a number of years. Their attention to detail, extensive knowledge of fundraising and marketing translates into tangible results. A dedicated team of professionals who are committed to every project!

    Ruth Catana, Executive Director, St. Patrick’s Home of Ottawa Foundation
© Agents of Good. All Rights Reserved. Website Design
  • Home
  • Agents of Good
  • Blog
    • Top 10 Blog Posts
    • Star Wars Series
  • Speaking
  • Work
  • Clients
  • Testimonials
  • Connect
Main